Tense

Let me preface this post: I have a personal rule that I am not allowed to delete anything that I type and that I publish everything. This is one post where I want desperately to break my rule and delete but I am refraining. The following is a bit whiny so skip to the bullet points of my workout tonight if you don’t have any cheese to go with my whine 🙂

I used to be an experienced traveller. I guess I’m still an experienced traveller, now I’m just an anxious experienced traveller. It’s amazing how I used to be on 3-5 airplanes a week but now it’s one every 2-3 months and I’m nervous. Like can’t sleep nervous. I’m not worried about crashing. I’m not worried about dying. I’m not worried about missing the flight, or not getting a cookie and I never check a bag so I’m not even worried about loosing my luggage. But…I can’t sleep and haven’t slept for 3 nights now.

Once I get to sleep, I sleep hard and struggle to get out of the bed. I’m a zoombie all day but once my head touches the pillow, I’m wide awake and wired. Typically I can solve this one of two ways. (1) run/exercise until I can hardly walk to my car to drive home or (2) figure out what is causing my brain all of this added energy and drive.

My legs are so sore. I’ve posted some great times for my running (2.25 miles in 20:50 Tuesday night). I have a hard time walking up and down stairs and I can’t laugh without feeling my abdominal muscles contracting. Which means this is due to too much thinking and number two will have to be employed.

I’m flying to Atlanta tomorrow for a long weekend to be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding. She is marrying an amazing man and they have a fantastic relationship. I hope I can be so lucky one day. So it’s not that. I have everything I need taken care of for the big day already and I get to see my mom this weekend so I’m excited about it.

I think, maybe, just maybe, for the first time in my life, I wish I wasn’t quite so independent. I wish I had someone to take to this wedding as my date. I wish I wasn’t going to be the only person connected to this affair that isn’t married or engaged. It’s stupid. God is teaching me patiences and in His time I will be blessed with someone incredible that was completely worth the wait. But until then…I wish I had a male cohort for the series of events that are about to take place.

I guess since I”m not going to solve that problem tonight, I should turn the light out and attempt to sleep. I am going to run club at 6am in the morning and travelling all day so I should sleep very well tomorrow night.

I’ll leave with my workout from my group training session tonight:

• 10 minutes of walking lunges on the treadmill (2% incline)
• (3) sets of 20 second leg raises holds followed by 30-45 seconds of scissor kicks while holding the 15 lb body bar
• Hamstrings slides – place a towel on a step/raised platform, rest your heels on the towel, prop your body up with the hands and slide your feet back and forth on the towel. Your butt should be even with the step height and should not fluctuate. Use your hamstrings to pull your heels and feet towards your body
• Dead lifts for time with 15 lb body bar
• Squats for time with the 15 lb body bar on my shoulders (I completed 84 during the two sets)
• Sideways lunges with the 15 lb body bar on my shoulders – 10 lunges each side repeated twice

Ps. I love to look at my legs in the mirror while I work out. I never thought I would be that kind of a person but I’ve worked so hard to have the muscle tone that I have right now and part of me never thought it was going to be possible so it’s fun to enjoy it. 🙂