Yesterday was one of those days where I was behind by about 5 minutes all day long. I was 5 minutes early to crossfit and that was enough to distract my natural body movements from on-time mode to late mode.
Now if you know me, you know that I despise being late (this is a produce of my upbringing, thanks Dad!). Which means I also despise continually being late throughout an entire day. Thankfully I was able to turn it around at bedtime. The truth? I actually went to bed at 8:50pm because I was done with the day.
This morning I woke up early and was able to get to work early. I was thankful for this until I was ambushed at my desk by a procurement manager prior to my first meeting at 8:30am. I lost it. I didn’t even know I was that frusterated about the contract I have that’s floundering (ok, honestly, I knew I was frusterated and the contract is more than floundering but I thought I had better control of my mouth and tone). I wasn’t in the mood to roll over and take another person trying to tell me how to fix something that I inherited from another engineer.
Then I got on the phone for my conference call and had no patience with my vendor being late and not wanting to get down to business. The A&M football conversation didn’t even distract me. Then my phone started ringing off the hook with one question after stupid question. Then I had to go a training I was giving. By this point, I know I have a bad attitude but I haven’t taken a breath that didn’t have words coming out of it so I’m just trying to be diliberate and focused on what I’m saying. By the time I’m out of the 1.5 hour training, I’ve got 6 more voicemails and 47 more emails and a plane ticket to fly to St. Louis next Thursday to try to fix some things face-to-face with flounder.
Redeemer Fellowship has preached on Job in the past month and I’ve gone to a class that talked about Job a few weeks ago. Job was blameless and God still allowed Satan to test him. Job responded without changing his faith. I had three bad conversations this morning and had lost my faith. Lord please forgive me.
It’s lunch time now (thankful to be halfway thru the day) so I’m eating and surfing facebook. I’m blown away sitting at my desk by the obvious truths God is placing in my line of vision because I’ve been ignoring Him all day long.
How true is this picture? I was drowning this morning because I was refusing to take the hand of the man walking on the water towards me. I am such a sinner. I thought I could handle everything myself. I was in control and it wasn’t working. Lord please forgive me for not remembering that You are my Savior and my Strength.
Then there’s this one:
O yea. I skipped my devotional this morning because I didn’t want to be late. (Was my boss even in the office when I got here? Nope. Did he show up on time? Nope. Glad I rushed this morning to make it in before 8am). Lord please help my heart to turn towards you when I struggle. Help my heart to turn towards you for everything. Thank you for your Son because without Him, I wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning. I am not worthy.
And for good measure, since it takes about three times before something really sinks in for me, my friend posted the following:
I was reading 2 Corinthians 3 this morning and wow, just wow. 3:16-18 was just what I needed this morning. Maybe it’s what you need too.
“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
-2 Corinthians 3:16-18, ESV-
This is just too amazing. There is freedom that comes with salvation in Christ and with the presence of the Holy Spirit. Those who live in Christ Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit are truly free! Free from condemnation, guilt, sin, death, the old covenant and blindness to the gospel. Christians also have free access to the loving presence of God! As a result of seeing the Lord through the ministry of the Spirit, the believer is being transformed, over time, into the same image of God! The same image! No matter how many times I read this it still strikes me as amazing! God is so good. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now I see. Praise Jesus! May we all walk in a manner worthy of His calling. Have a blessed day.
Yep. I’m listening Lord. You win. and He wins in a magnificant way. A saving way. He asks that I lean on Him. that I love Him and only Him. He asks for quiet to be able to speak to me. Here’s my daily devotion for today (which I’ve now read and prayed over):
“Demonstrate your trust in Me by sitting quietly in My Presence. Put aside all that is waiting to be done, and refuse to worry about anything. This sacred time together strengthens you and prepares you to face whatever the day will bring. By waiting with Me before you begin the day’s activities, you proclaim the reality of My living Presence. This act of faith – waiting before working – is noted in teh spirit world, where your demonstration of trust weakens principalities and powers of darkness. The most effective way to resist evil is to draw near Me. When you need to take action, I will guide you clearly through My Spirit and My Word. The world is so complex and overstimulating that you can easily lose your sense of direction. Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy. When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction. As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more.” “J…esus Calling” by Sarah Young
The Voice (VOICE)
“Whatever you do, do it as service to Him,
and He will guarantee your success.”
My afternoon will be better. Not because I am doing anything more right but because God is at the center of my focus (where He should be) once again.