14.5 You Win

I was really excited about 14.5. See my post about it.

…and then it happened….

I was about halfway through the workout, in the set of 15 thrusters, when my left shoulder popped. So I set the bar down, shook it out, took a deep breath, picked it up, and tried again. Another pop. I set the bar down and walked away.

It feels like giving up.

It feels like defeat.

It feels like I’m not good enough.

I actually wanted to cry. I was the only one in the gym that wasn’t going to finish the workout. Everyone else who wasn’t going to finish the workout had intelligently decided not to attempt it.

I spent the afternoon icing my shoulder, went to be early, stretched really well on Sunday, and still felt funny going to CrossFit on Monday. Thankfully the workout wasn’t too bad and ended up stretching my shoulder more than working it.

My disgusted feelings about myself gave me permission to eat trashy all weekend. I’m not going to list out the nonsense of food I consumed but it did include an entire box of gluten-free oreos, cookies, wine, and popcorn. Eating trashy makes me sleepy and grumpy so I slept through a friend’s birthday party and made excuses for secluding myself all weekend. This only further exaggerates the issues. By Tuesday I was just angry at myself.

Thankfully on Tuesday I was meeting someone from church to review a volunteer role I’m assuming. After our conversation at Starbucks, I decided to continue reading a book I’m reading for my small group. A few chapters of “A Praying Life” by Paul Miller made me reach for my Bible and my Bible made me reach for prayer time with God. I need help from God to have a good attitude and to have my heart following His plans for me and not my own. The CrossFit Open gave me a really good attitude adjustment (after first showing me how self centered and physically-minded I am).

I still need God to help me with what I am eating (which sounds dumb but it’s the truth) as well as where my heart is focused, but He has answered prayers. I want to compete in the Open for years to come and see marked improvements. I don’t want to go to Regionals, just compete to the best of my ability. I need to push myself in the gym on a regular basis – more than I was in the past – but I don’t need it to define me. God defines me. Jesus defines how God sees me and for that, I am immensely thankful!

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14.5

The 14.5 announcement was awesome! I am super excited there is an equal work, no time limit workout on the docket for the 2014 open. I can also do thrusters and burpees so this means I’m going to be able to get a good score. 🙂

The Work Out: 21 thrusters (65#), 21 burpees, 18 thrusters (65#), 18 burpees, 15 thrusters (65#), 15 burpees, 12 thrusters (65#), 12 burpees, 9 thrusters (65#), 9 burpees, 6 thrusters (65#), 6 burpees, 3 thrusters (65#), 3 burpees for time.

Watching the top 5 athletes in the world compete head to head with this workout was also amazing! Annie took 11 minutes or so to finish this workout which means it’s probably going to take me closer to half a hour but that’s ok because I can do all the work!

Stay tuned for my 14.5 results 🙂

14.4

The chipper.

So it finally came – the 2014 open workout that can only be described by gnarly.

14 min AMRAP of 60 calorie row, 50 T2B, 40 wall balls at 9′ with 14#, 30 Power cleans, 20 muscle-ups

I have always skipped toes to bar in work outs. May will mark one year of crossfitting and until Friday I had zero, perhaps even negative desire (since that’s possible), for learning toes to bar. I didn’t take gymnastics as a child. I actually never learned how to do a cartwheel even!

So Friday I walked into the box, looked at my coach, and said teach me the ways of toes to bar because I want to get one during the open. I wish I could say that I mastered them in 15 minutes but, alas, that is not the case. I did however discover that I need to try them during workouts because I wasn’t quite as bad as I thought I would be. I can get my right foot to touch the bar but not the left.

Saturday went as expected. I completed the 60 cal row in 3 minutes (I love to row) and then had 11 minutes to work on toes to bar. Although I was frustrated since I’m great at wall balls and am capable of completing the power cleans, it was awesome to hear the crossfit community cheering me onward. It was also great to watch the other athletes competing.

I am hoping that 14.5 is a workout where I can complete all the moves (even if they’re slow) since it’s the last one for this year’s open.

14.3

Finally.

Moves I can do!

When the annoucement was made last Thursday, I was stoked! Deadlifts and box jumps!! And the weight scheme hit me. 🙂

We had done heavy deadlifts Wednesday and my max had only been 145 for 3 reps. This meant I was only going to be able to get 55 reps in 14.3 unless I PR-ed. Consider me motivated! haha

Workout: 8 minute AMRAP of 10 DL @ 95#, 15 bx jumps (20″), 15 DL @ 135#, 15 bx jumps, 20 DL @155#, 15 bx jumps, etc.

Saturday everyone at the box wore tanks and spandex (except me since I’m still self conscious – both about my arms and about competing)) and were ready to go! I was pumped! and I did PR 🙂

73 reps.

73 reps means that I pulled 155# off the floor 18 times! Which also means I need to go back and re-do my max effort on deadlift…

My low back is a little sore but I finally broke down at bought a foam roller this weekend which helped. I also went runningfor 5.5 miles to enjoy the weather in Loose Park late Saturday which helped work out some of the soreness out of my hamstrings. This morning was back squats at the box which is also helping work out some of the residual soreness from being a couch potatoe yesterday. I’m also thinking a massage tonight will get me back to feeling good tomorrow.

So bring it on CrossFit Open! I’m excited for 14.4 because at this rate, I’ve PR-ed every open workout. I’m ready to see where else I can push myself 🙂

14.1

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10 minutes. 30 DU’s then 15 snatches (55#) and repeat.

I was terrified. I walked into the box about 15 minutes before I was going to compete and I was still terrified. I didn’t want all these people watching me and counting my reps. Most people love having others cheering them on. They thrive on it. But I really just want to blend into the background and do my workout.

The Open is no such a place.

I ran a 5k this morning to raise money for Haiti. I finished in 30:09 (which is right at my PR). It was 18 degrees outside but my friends Lisa and Nina and I had a great time! The theme was PJ’s so there were people in all different kinds of bed-wear and even some wearing curlers in their hair to run. We had PJ pants on but that was it. This is the first 5k in a series of two. The next one is May 17th, stay tuned.

So after running the 5k, I dropped my friends off, changed my shorts, and went over to the crossfit box. After a quick stretch session with some PVC, it was my turn.

10 minutes later I had completed 135 reps.

The DU’s killed me. Really it was the 5k that had left my legs completely helpless with 4 minutes left. My arms felt the brunt of it since they now look like I was whipping my forearms all afternoon. I’m definitely going to have to wear long-sleeves to the office on Monday.

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I was pleased to find upon entering the box that power cleans with a jerk were acceptable since I was not going to make it thru 15 snatches. My shoulder just isn’t up for that yet. I actually felt liked I moved the bar pretty quickly. Stupid double unders…

I am excited to hear what the next four CrossFit Open workouts are. Having people cheering and watching was really not that bad. I’ll probably have fun with it next week. Plus, no more 5k’s (or any other working out) prior to Open workouts.

The Open

For those of you who don’t CrossFit, this is going to sound a little weird. I’m sure my posts about CrossFit already sound weird to you but this will probably push past your understanding…

The CrossFit Open begins tonight. I am terrified. I am praying to God about the CrossFit Games.

There. I said it (kinda). I am completely afraid of the workouts they will be posting for me to do. At this point, there really is no joy or excitement about this actually. I am sure this will grow but not at this particular moment.

What is the CrossFit Open you ask? The CrossFit Open is the first in a series of CrossFit competitions that advance you to competing in The CrossFit Games. The CrossFit Games determine who (male and female) are the fittest person on the planet.

It is actually a pretty cool and all inclusive process. For five weeks (starting tonight), a workout is posted online and the two winners from last year’s competition complete it. You then have until Monday night to complete the workout in front of a judge or video record it and submit you time/reps online. Online ranks you against everyone else on the planet that has completed the same workout. After 5 weeks, the top so many people go compete at the regional competition. Those top two athletes then go compete at the CrossFit Games.

Anybody in the world can compete (for $20). It is truly a global competition. The Olympics try to accomplish this but certain countries, political issues, and monetary contraints apply. With CrossFit, it’s you against everyone else, with the support of your local CrossFit community of course.

I workout three times a week at a box I love and with people that make me happy in the midst of intense physical and mental challenges. I don’t want to workout anywhere else.

But.

I am scared of these workouts. I am scared to see how low I will be ranked. It’s pretty common for me to be one of the last people to finish or one of the people with the least amount of weight on my bar. This doesn’t bother me in the comfort of my own box, with my own people. Seeing it displayed for the world to watch is another story.

This fear of approval from others is an idol in my life. It is something that I strive for that is not God. At church we talk about this all the time. God please help me to remember that you don’t want me to be perfect, that you only want me to seek you. Help me remember that Jesus was perfect so I could have the freedom not to be.

It’s the same reason I never took to learning foreign languages in school. I studied spanish for 6 years but would get cold sweats everday when I had to go to class and actually speak it in front of my peers. I don’t want to mess up, to sound dumb, to be the person to not get it. This is the same with me trying to learn Creole to go to Haiti. I want to be perfect. It’s unrealistic. It inhibits my drive to be a witness and seek Christ. It is sin. With God’s help He can change me. I can’t do this myself.

So I signed up for the CrossFit Open. I am not going to make it very far but I am going to enjoy an additional workout each week with folks from my box. It’s going to be fun to see myself struggle and perservere. It’s going to be incredible to push the body God gave me in ways I never imagined when I walked into my first CrossFit box last year.