For those of you who don’t CrossFit, this is going to sound a little weird. I’m sure my posts about CrossFit already sound weird to you but this will probably push past your understanding…
The CrossFit Open begins tonight. I am terrified. I am praying to God about the CrossFit Games.
There. I said it (kinda). I am completely afraid of the workouts they will be posting for me to do. At this point, there really is no joy or excitement about this actually. I am sure this will grow but not at this particular moment.
What is the CrossFit Open you ask? The CrossFit Open is the first in a series of CrossFit competitions that advance you to competing in The CrossFit Games. The CrossFit Games determine who (male and female) are the fittest person on the planet.
It is actually a pretty cool and all inclusive process. For five weeks (starting tonight), a workout is posted online and the two winners from last year’s competition complete it. You then have until Monday night to complete the workout in front of a judge or video record it and submit you time/reps online. Online ranks you against everyone else on the planet that has completed the same workout. After 5 weeks, the top so many people go compete at the regional competition. Those top two athletes then go compete at the CrossFit Games.
Anybody in the world can compete (for $20). It is truly a global competition. The Olympics try to accomplish this but certain countries, political issues, and monetary contraints apply. With CrossFit, it’s you against everyone else, with the support of your local CrossFit community of course.
I workout three times a week at a box I love and with people that make me happy in the midst of intense physical and mental challenges. I don’t want to workout anywhere else.
I am scared of these workouts. I am scared to see how low I will be ranked. It’s pretty common for me to be one of the last people to finish or one of the people with the least amount of weight on my bar. This doesn’t bother me in the comfort of my own box, with my own people. Seeing it displayed for the world to watch is another story.
This fear of approval from others is an idol in my life. It is something that I strive for that is not God. At church we talk about this all the time. God please help me to remember that you don’t want me to be perfect, that you only want me to seek you. Help me remember that Jesus was perfect so I could have the freedom not to be.
It’s the same reason I never took to learning foreign languages in school. I studied spanish for 6 years but would get cold sweats everday when I had to go to class and actually speak it in front of my peers. I don’t want to mess up, to sound dumb, to be the person to not get it. This is the same with me trying to learn Creole to go to Haiti. I want to be perfect. It’s unrealistic. It inhibits my drive to be a witness and seek Christ. It is sin. With God’s help He can change me. I can’t do this myself.
So I signed up for the CrossFit Open. I am not going to make it very far but I am going to enjoy an additional workout each week with folks from my box. It’s going to be fun to see myself struggle and perservere. It’s going to be incredible to push the body God gave me in ways I never imagined when I walked into my first CrossFit box last year.