Double Life

How do you live in two places at once?

Trick question for most but for me, I’ve been doing it (fairly) successfully for the last few weeks. My mailing address is in Kansas City (Missouri, not Kansas) but I’ve spent more nights in 2014 in Houston Texas. And by more, I mean I’ve spent double.

I manage subcontracts for a living and have a couple vendors in the Houston area. The products they are working on for my company will eventually end up installed on our project in Mont Belvieu Texas (east of Houston). One of these contracts needs my physical presence to help us be successful. I have friends in Houston so I don’t mind.

O I used to mind. If I had a penny for every time I’ve told someone in the last three years that I was never going back to Houston or that if my employer told me I was moving to Houston it was going to be my two-weeks notice, then I could afford to pay a mover to pack my boxes in KC and haul them back to Texas. So what’s been different in 2014? Why the sudden change of heart?

God.

Period.

That’s the only way I have this kind of change of heart. I said “never” and God smiled and said “we’ll see.” In my rebellion, He is true and soverign.

Now this is not a moving announcement (yet). But I’m open to those conversations. I do not yet know what God has in His plans for me. But I do know that I cannot put my foot down and say “no.” I love God and desire to follow His directions so that He can use me for His glory. One of the prayers in church on Sunday was asking God not to pass over us in choosing who to send. Lord, please send me. I won’t say “never” again.

I’ve re-connected with people God put in my life in college. People who are and have served a distinct and divine purpose in shaping my life today. I pray that they will continue to influence me. I am thankful to God for sending them and ask for His protection over them.

Several of them have told me in the last few weeks that this is the happiest they have ever known me. It’s such an odd statement. Initially, I shrugged it off but it’s hung with me. These people knew me when I was in the darkest part of my existence. When I completely ignored God. When I acted like He didn’t exist except for the part where His Son was going to save me from hell. These people have accepted me. Be-friended me. Want to spend time with me now. They wanted to back then too but I was too busy with all the wrong things to see what amazing community and friendship was open to me.

In the few days I’ve been in KC in 2014 I’ve had some incredible conversations with people, with friends. There has been lots of opinions about my possibilities in Houston. I am immensely grateful for the food for thought although some of it has sat with me better than others. I’ve never had community that told me they would miss me if I left. I’ve never been that vested in relationships before. It’s super uncomfortable. It’s super messy. It’s amazing.

There are lots of details to work out with my job over the next few months. It’s difficult to maintain relationships in two different states but it’s what my life is right now. I get to experience both cities, pros and cons, and figure out where God is leading my heart. Please pray for peace and direction for me. I would much rather life this double life than the one I was living a few years ago, but it can’t go on forever.

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