Houston. Icky.

I went to Houston for business last week. I hate Houston. If you don’t know me, I don’t hate very many things. Cole slaw. Coconut flavor. Cancer. and Houston. Houston’s only saving grace is that it’s in the great state of Texas.

I’ve compiled a list of observations from my last trip. 10 items for your enjoyment (note – several items are actually positive but those tend to be transferrable to other cities in Texas as well):

  1. Everyone snorts their snot back into their head which somehow miraculously makes my snot start moving against gravity, although I do not dignify this uncontrollable response with a sound rivaling a pig
  2. I would lose my religion if I had to drive in Houston everyday. When I lived in Houston I didn’t have religion so it wasn’t as big of a deal but this trip I ended up praying for God to lower my blood pressure and keep my mouth closed.
  3. The best people watching is at a local Mexican restaurant in Houston on a Thursday night. I’ve never been around so many cougars in all my life.
  4. There’s a sense of hurry up that I don’t like. Nothing can get done fast enough. No one can get to their destination fast enough (see #2). No one can get married fast enough (see #3). Life is quick and short. No need to encourage it.
  5. There’s a vastness and order of magnitude in being able to drive 65 miles and be in the same city. The projects I’m working on there are huge too. The port of Houston is ginormous. The fractionation facilities are the largest in the world and we’re still building. And God is so much bigger than this!
  6. I love working in Starbucks and watching every single person who walks in the door for three hours is wearing cowboy boots.
  7. There are more Texas flags flying than American ones. I’m Texan so this is acceptable to me. The pride people have for being from there is un paralleled elsewhere in the world. I like being a member of the USA but if anyone was going break away and start a country from scratch it would be Texas
  8. The sunsets, sunrises, clouds, and general sky is incredible. Every time I looked up I was immediately reminded of God’s creativity and appreciation for all things beautiful.
  9. Breakfast tacos are the greatest food invention. Period. I should open a food truck in KC and sell them. Life is good when your morning starts with breakfast and when that breakfast is a breakfast taco.
  10. The second greatest invention is flank steak and Houston has hundreds of places to get amazing flank steak. Seriously KC, you need to start taking lessons.
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