That is The Question.
I love the time I was able to spend in Haiti in May. Like love it enough that on my bad days in Kansas City I joke with my friends that I’m going to quit my job and move to Haiti. It wouldn’t be easy. It wouldn’t be glamerous. It would be terrifying. but that’s my fallback plan. (much to my mother’s dismay)
God blessed me with an engineering brain. it took me a long time to understand that’s what I am blessed (about 72 credit hours towards a bachelor’s of science degree in animal science to be exact) but I’m here. working as an engineering. on the road to being licensed. I don’t know what God wants me to do with my engineering degree and my love for Haiti.
But I love Haiti enough to walk away from my job (again) for five days and to go back in October. I’m not sure how my boss will respond so I’m probably going to wait to mention it until about two weeks before when it’s far to late to change it. I’m not sure how my parents are going to respond to spending all my vacation hugging strangers instead of hugging them.
None of that scares me.
what scares me is my desire for this to be God’s will in my life. I enjoyed the trip in May. I loved getting to know amazing people in my church and in Haiti. I spend time with all those people in the states now. I just want to make sure that God is the driving and motivating factor in my trip in October. it’s great (and necessary) to have community and to have communities that want to incorporate other people in the community but I want God to use this.
The funny part? God uses everything in my life and everything in your life for a reason. (aka this rambling post has a purpose which is why I’m still typing away at my desk at work).
So I filled out the online application last week sometime. I can still technically “get out” of going – there’s no money involved yet. Les, the director for the Haiti Orphan Project, called me this morning and left a voicemail during my project meeting asking if I was the same person that went on the trip in May and stating that he would love to talk to me about Haiti. Having that voicemail on my phone makes me smile. It gives me an unusual amount of joy.
I want to write the check and make it official. I’m over my budget this month already – I went on a girls weekend to the lake of the ozarks (on my bucket list) to celebrate my friend turning 30 but it cost the same as my deposit for Haiti. There’s money in my savings account and I know God provides. I’ve been praying. Asking. Wanting. for weeks now.
I think it’s time to commit.
Please pray for me. pray that the funds work out. pray that God will be obvious in His use of this trip. pray for the leaders of Haiti and the children in the orphanages. pray for me to have a sense of peace about this decision.