stupid fears

This is a little bit silly.

No.

It’s a lot silly. And I just need to give it up to God (which I’m in the process of) but here’s the story.

I bought a Groupon for Crossfit classes. $60 for 3 months unlimited at a crossfit/kettleball gym in Kansas City. And I’m petrified to go to my first class. It’s like a tryout class where they see where you are and teach you some basic movements. I’ve worked out with a personal trainer for a year – I think my body will hold up to the challenge but I’m not sure I will emotionally. Some part of this terrifies me!

Crossfit is something I’ve been dying to try. I quit my gym in August and haven’t really been serious about working out since. I figured I was in the best shape of my life (with a few more pounds to loose) and would just curb my diet to help me maintain. (For those of you who really know me, maintaining weight is something my thyroid has prohibited me from accomplishing my entire life but some how I thought this stage might be different…I was feeling so much better).

I’ve gained 8-10 pounds since August. For the average person this is no big deal. I’ve been traveling for work ~20 days per month, eating out, and not working out so 8 pounds is really not a problem. But for someone like me who has thyroid issues, this can be the starting of a nightmare you can’t wake up from…

I go work out on Sundays with my old ladies and love it! I ran another half marathon in November (The Northface Endurance Challenge) which was a great reminder that I need to be training before I do something like that again. I run with run club at my old gym at least once a week. When I travel to Corpus Christi (about 7 days a month), I work out with my powerlifting friend doing P90X in the garage at 4:30am. Work requires me to walk around and crawl all over modules almost every day. I am not seditary. But I need another fitness challenge. Something that I pay money to so that I make it a priority. Crossfit is an excellent answer….but some part of me is nervous.

To make matters worse, I decided that watching the crossfit games (re-run) on espn this weekend was an excellent idea. It is so impressive how these ladies are in total control of their bodies. It is impressive to watch the determination and strength pouring out of them. All of them have inspirational stories (all great athletes do).

I want to be in better shape, to control how my clothese fit (again) and I will go to my first class on December 29th and fall in love, I’m sure of it. From here to there I’m going to pray. Pray for the strength to do this. Pray for incredible people to do it with. Pray to be excited about broading my horizons. Pray that my stupid fears lead me closer to God (and a good looking body).

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